late night studio thoughts on flaws

.the flaws.the imperfections.

today in architecture class, we had a discussion regarding craft and manufacture. handmade vs. machinery. imperfect, unique and individualized work vs. nearly perfect machine produced work. what is the difference? 

it got me thinking about life.

the imperfections

the flaws

A good friend once told me that the world was beautiful because it was flawed.

at first glance, it appears as such a seemingly backwards statement because of our continual efforts to reach perfection. 

but maybe it is those flaws, those imperfections that make life beautiful. those moments of weakness, those moments when we feel totally alone, those moments when we feel as though nothing is going our way. 

because that's all we get out of life, and those imperfections are ours to keep, ours to claim and hold dear. No one can take away those from us. Those imperfections make us who we are, just as it makes the handmade craft hold more meaning and individuality. 

then I thought of how imperfect a puzzle piece is on its own, yet how perfect it is when placed within the bigger picture. maybe this too applies to our own lives. When looked at alone, each moment in our lives is nothing but a jagged puzzle piece, nothing but imperfect. but when looking at the bigger picture, it combines with other experiences to make total sense. And maybe that's just all we get out of life. small puzzle pieces that we won't understand until we are reflecting back as we sway through old age in a rocking chair. 

...just a few thoughts as I make less than perfect models at 1:28 AM 

peace vs. comfort

I was recently thinking about peace and comfort. Both physically feel the same, but spout from very different circumstances. Peace is knowing that everything is settled, exactly how it is supposed to be. The whole world is at ease and it seems as though everything is just right. Comfort feels settling simply because it is known, familiar. Like peace, you are at ease in comfort, but comfort chokes our ability to grow, learn, and ultimately reach the true inner peace that comes with acknowledging and completing God's will. 

all my friends (and really anyone that talks to me) must really hate me right now. All I've been thinking about, talking about, and obsessing over is architecture. It's causing me to worry so much and causing me to ask myself so many questions. Do I want to be an architect? Why the heck did I choose this major? Is all of this work worth it? I'm absolutely sure many people have stumbled across these same questions. let's face it, architecture is a lot harder than I could have anticipated. And it's only the beginning of my sophomore year. 

I realize that I have a choice here, stay in architecture and suck it up, or change out and be a quitter. I find myself asking countless people if I should stay in architecture, just hoping they'd tell me that it was ok to change majors, that it wasn't quitting. I guess that's just what I'm looking for from God, my family, friends, anyone. It'd be so much easier if someone just told me "no kat, you aren't meant to make 25 models of folded paper until 3 in the morning." But it's not that easy. It's never that easy. And maybe that's why I need to stay in architecture, because it's not easy for a reason.

I don't think I'm strong enough to make it through this architecture education and honestly I've never seen myself as an architect. But then again, countless people before me made it out alright I guess. And shouldn't I trust that God put me here for a reason? Is even considering changing majors wrong? I should quiet the little monster that is screaming in my ear telling me that all this hard work will lead to unhappiness... But is that little monster screaming because the hard work isn't worth it, or because he's suddenly uncomfortable in this difficult environment? And that dear readers, takes time and discernment. 

So now I'm off to think and pray more, to search for that inner peace that comes from knowing that I'm really doing Gods will. but for the present moment I have a few models to do for tomorrow. 

I just don't have any motivation to do it. 

I literally can't bring myself to it.

laziness? or unhappiness?

whatever the case, I still have a ton of work to do.

ohhhh lordy.

tiger town bound in the morning

This summer has been just what I needed, and while leaving home is surprisingly just as bittersweet as leaving clemson, I'm so thankful that I am fortunate to live in two places that are both hard to leave. 

Leaving my family is almost harder this time around since we've grown so close, but I'm excited to be back at Clemson for this next exciting semester.

Until we meet again Baton Rouge, this summer has been real. 

time to get back to clemson! 

mhm

times are far too complicated these days.

be bold. be daring. be confident. 

favorite little brother {reaux bear}

Isn't my little brother just the cutest? 

facebook rehab

I'm ridiculous.

On this day, August 2, 2012, I deactivated my facebook. It isn't forever, but it's definitely for a little while. I needed a break. I am too dependent on it and need a little bit of a challenge anyway. Facebook has become more than addiction, it's become a dictator in my world. It's almost as if I've become it's slave without even knowing it. 

I once heard that if you put a frog into boiling hot water, he'll jump out immediately. However, if you put him in before it's hot and then slowly heat it to a boil, he'll stay in and end up dying from the heat. I think that it isn't too far off to compare facebook (or anything that gets in the way with our lives) to this. At first I didn't waste vast amounts of time on it. I barely used it. Then it slowly slowly slowly became a huge problem. and that's where I'm at today.

 I realized it was getting in the way of real life since I checked it at least 20 times a day. (only exaggerating a little there, it's bad). That's just pitiful dear readers, I know. I have too many distractions in my life and need to make room for some silence anyway. I'm ready to make peace with the present moment and open myself to new experiences. Dramatic, for sure, but it really has become a problem. So I'm acknowledging this and taking the steps to cure this unnecessary reliance to technology. When I finally did the deed I felt such inner peace. like crazy peace. peace that beauty queens everywhere seek for the world. More than just logging out, I was completely unconnected. I felt free, I felt like a modern day henry david thoreau, and more than anything I felt like a champ.

call me crazy, but I just don't want to waste all that time anymore. 

So I bid you adieu Facebook, I'll be back eventually

but for now, dearest friends, you'll just have to call me, beep me if ya wanna reach me

-kp