new summer new skills

my computer as of late

I have this thing, dear readers, where if I'm not learning something new, I grow far too stagnant in my life and soon become mildly depressed. I like to keep things changing and fresh, exciting. So this summer, as I continued along with the mundane details of everyday life back at home, I've finally found rescue in web-design. web design. my friends, I'm growing into the biggest nerd. Learning the ins and outs of html and css to possibly create something beautiful? (or horrendous..) the possibilities are just endless. I think our brains operate and think in different levels or maybe in different languages. Right now mine is thinking in the language of html tags. I remember after a night of staying up until 10... am... laser cutting all night, I walked home and thought of modeling every building I saw with the laser cutter. The same concept applies when you play music a while then soon everything has a rhythm, a beat, a unique identity... 

but as I spend consecutive hours in the office struggling (and sometimes succeeding) with coding, that got me to thinking. kind of a lot actually. You see when making a website, every single attribute to the website is accounted for in the html or css document. If it's off by even a wrong space, the web page looks distorted and turns out slightly horrendous, nothing as you had anticipated. You see there is a code for every form and function and everything has a specific purpose. If the code is wrong, the webpage is lifeless. Maybe that's how life is, dear readers. We were all programmed to do a certain thing. When we live our life as we are willed, or just do what we were born to do, the result is as beautiful as a well designed operating website. Everything is cohesive, works out just right. When we try to alter our programming, all too soon we realize the results are soooo wrong. It just doesn't look/feel/seem right, because the coding is wrong.

Can you imagine a world where everyone did what they were born to do?

 makes me get big big goosebumps.

I'm aware that my mind works in strange ways, and I might be the biggest nerd ever... and my little brother told me yesterday I was the uncool one in the family. At first I was offended but then again maybe I was born to be that uncool big sis? I think I'll take it.

best wishes to a fabulous rest of your week my friends, it's wednesday... gotta keep on keepin on!

maybe a crucial part of our existence is the crisis of identity

"I need to organize my life", she said multiple times throughout her existence. She had lost all creative drive in her life despite creating ads, flyers, and even a website. She felt as if she could gain it back once she had completed everything on her to do list. Yet, she still looked on wearily at her endless summer list, the fruit of hopeless dreaming and longing for the freedom of summer during the dreaded days of the forgotten semester. Everyday seemed the same. She had forgotten the feeling of potential. Just as newton had said that bodies in motion would stay in motion, and bodies at rest would stay at rest, she found herself somewhere between motion and rest in an unchanging scenario each day. Her focus shifted, and somewhere in there the excitement, the potential died. She was a shell of her previous self, and found no contentment in the things that used to pique her interest. Unpainted canvases remained unpainted and the words in her mind retreated so quietly that she only realized they were gone when she tried to call upon them. She felt betrayed that they had left her, but had she left them first? Her written voice had failed. Only until then did she realize the flame, her vibrant colouring, had somehow vanished. She now operated as a robot and noted that the reason she felt empty was because maybe she wasn't truly living.