Sunday, March 24, 2013

after thoughts



Dearest readers, I come to you today with a happy heart and a clear mind. I suppose that's easy to do after a week off of real life (thank you spring break!) and with possibly the most wonderful people in my life. I'm so so so so so thankful for those people. they rock a lot a lot. 

The week before spring break was definitely the hardest of my life. I'd never ever ever ever worked so hard.  I ended the week beaten and very, very tired. But amiss this horrendous week where I slept maybe a full night through the whole week (I know exaggerating runs in my family but this is a hardcore truth for real my friends) I came across some pretty cool thoughts. without the sleep, I was able to access a part of my brain that had grown obsolete. I'd become a space cadet in my own life and all of a sudden a switch was turned on and light flooded my eyes with observations of the outside world. I probably looked/sounded like a crazy woman to all of my friends after being that sleep deprived. My eyes were seeing weird things, and strange thoughts ruled my mind. 

I had trouble sleeping the first night of spring break since my body had grown accustomed to constant waking. As I fell asleep, I would lucid dream that there was a full string quartet in my room playing wagon wheel and that I could hear, I could feel every note so perfectly. I was one with the song and it was quickly taking me away. then I requested that the band play their favorite song. This resulted in a beautiful rendition of "you raise me up" that was quite jazzy and very unique. Then all of a sudden a slight fuzziness started like when you're listening to the radio and you change cities on a road trip. Pretty soon the music disappeared and was replaced with the sound of the ocean. Then I was being taken in by the crashing waves, floating out to sea with the tides. I was still awake while all of this happened but couldn't bring myself to actually wake up. finally I regained control of my mind and woke up. This continued on until finally I reached a peaceful place of much needed, uninterrupted sleep. and was it wonderful dearest friends! 

In the end, I suppose I gained a lot from that week of insanity. I'm incredibly content with my life and can't wait for the adventures God has in store for me. Maybe right now I'm meant to spend countless hours in studio, and while it makes me hate school and be sad about life sometimes (see last post)  it sure has changed my work ethic at least ;) I'm grateful for this struggle, it forces me to have complete reliance on God and appreciate everything, everyone so much more. I know this is terribly mushy, but I feel so blessed! (crazy how different this post sounds in comparison to the last..) 

so this week my friends, try to offer your struggles to God. He's waiting for ya.

Life is pretty awesome when ya think about it, have a stellar week my friends you all deserve it!!!!!!