hey, it's just LIFE in general.

"what do you want to be when you grow up?"

a firefighter, an astronaut, a pilot, a bug catcher, a professional juggler, an artist, an architect, a doctor, a cardiologist, a heart surgeon, a social worker, a mission worker, a farmer, an entrepreneur

the list goes on.

these are all answers that I've given when asked the question of how I want to spend the rest. of. my. life. Some were serious and deliberate while others were on a whim and soon forgotten. You see, dear readers, I've changed my mind countless times.  I want to do everything because it just all sounds so interesting. 

since I'm still unable to pin myself down to one occupation or even one field of study, I've made the executive decision on the one thing I want to be...

happy. 

not so fast

It's times like these where we must stop and think about the good things in life. Everything and everyone gets so so so busy and we forget about those special things, those dear moments that make life good. It's those tiny happenings of each day that go unnoticed, but leave us with a good feeling. Since I've been so stressed lately (the culprit for my lack of "hilarious" posts on this blog), I've taken this time between calculus homework, cross country practice, minds on physics, club meetings, deadlines, writing essays, planning the cross country sleepover, and a gazillion other details to stop and write a list of wonderful little things. 

I hope you enjoy this, and find the little adventures in each day. 

a fresh tube of toothpaste

the satisfying feeling of completing a hard workout

finishing the last bits of a painting

watching the sunrise

doing your homework before school is over

riding around with the windows down and the music up

people watching

home runs

anticipating a good meal

making up a random song on the guitar

getting a rock star parking spot

meeting someone new and learning their name

a fresh box of pencils 

smelling all the deodorants at walgreens to see which is the best

hugs

farm for the weekend

Two or three weekends ago, my best friends and I traveled down to Rayne, Louisiana for good times filled with good music, good food, four wheelers, campfires, photo shoots, mud fights, and nothing short of the extraordinary adventure. Since three of them are going to college very soon (one started this week!), it was a trip marked with happy memories and a strong desire to end with a real bang. Since a picture is worth a thousand words, here's an essay for you.

gahhhh

I don't have ANY time

to do 

ANYTHING

and I need to 

sleep.

more.

please.

One productive thing I happened to actually do: organize my desk/closet/room/playroom. My desk is decorated with cool, random pictures and quotes and such. 

maybe it just looks cool because of sleep deprivation. You know, I don't really know. 

all I know

is that there is so much life to live.

and for fun, dear readers, here is a song my sister and I wrote. It was written during that time of night when delirium hits in and everything is funny. I promise it's way cooler when it is actually sung and accompanied by the guitar. let's just say these lyrics aren't award winning

"I'm so delirious

and yes I'm completely serious

I don't think this is nutritious

but Oh it's so delicious

CHORUS: 'cause it's the middle of the night

and I don't think I'll be sleeping tight

this is one battle I don't wanna fight

it's the middle of the night."

goodnight readers.

life as the uncool kid

let's just face it. I've always been the uncool kid.

I got my cell phone later than the average teen, attended dance parties later, never had an aim account or myspace, wore weird clothes, wanted to be a "bug-catcher", only just recently got a facebook, and even wore airwalks instead of crocs back in the day. My sister and I even used to make up weird skits with our unibrow-sporting alter-egos of "Hilda and Greta", or pretend we were twins traveling through space (on a spaceship that looked very similar to the swingset in our backyard) to battle monkeys that knocked leaves off trees. 

I don't know why, but i've always had the uncool rolling for me.

Although I despised it in my earlier years, being uncool has become a praised characteristic in my head. The uncool kid simply has a better opportunity to stay sincere to the true individual inner beauty found only in the solitude of their soul. By being "uncool", you realize what's really important in life and slowly become immune to judgement and expectations of others. 

Being uncool has other advantages as well; such as, you don't have to worry about keeping up with the latest fashion and people expect you to do what you want instead of succumbing to peer pressure. it's almost like emitting an air around you that demands respect. People excuse your uncoolness and eventually accept it, realizing it's a part of your internal wiring. All of this uncoolness could be due to my parents' strict expectations, but I like to think that I was born uncool. I also like to think of myself as marching to my own beat even in my mother's womb. 

Being uncool has better prepared me for life and given me life skills and maturity. 

thank goodness I'm not cool. 

My life in Alchemist quotes

Over the summer, we were required to read The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. Much to my surprise, this book had an effect on me unlike other books I've read for school. My English teacher assigned an activity where we had to write a paragraph on a quote that applied to our own lives. After thinking about it, I realize that it really applies to my life, even more than I originally thought after slapping together this assignment at midnight last night. I decided to post it here because, like I said earlier, it just spoke to me even more after I pondered it while running today. I have been contemplating where to attend college at this time in my life and found myself fearing the unknown and being afraid to venture out of my comfort zone (going to college in my hometown). I've decided that now I am open to the possibilities of the future, no matter where it may lead me.

 “I don’t know if the desert can be a friend, and it’s in the desert that I have to search for my treasure. If I don’t find it, I can always go home. I finally have enough money and all the time I need. Why not? He suddenly felt tremendously happy.” 

Santiago spoke this quote after having worked in the crystal shop for a year while deciding whether or not to continue on as a shepherd or take a step into the unknown to seek his treasure. I identify with Santiago at his place in life because I often find myself subconsciously taking the route in life that may be the easiest, safest, or most comfortable. As humans, I believe we are automatically programmed to see the unknown as a threat rather than taking a step into the unknown and embracing the possibilities. With this year being my last at SJA, I hope to embrace the possibilities of the unknown because everything that happens, happens for a specific purpose and also simply because you only live once. Now that I’ve indentified this automatic programming found naturally in humans, I hope to overcome it by seeking adventure and seeking a challenge.  I also hope to look at my life and the unknown factors in my life and simply say the words of Santiago, “why not?”.  I know that I too will feel tremendous joy at the opportunities awaiting me because, like Santiago, they will lead me to my Personal Legend which ultimately leads to happiness. 

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. that is why they call it the present.

School started today. I enjoyed all my classes and didn't find anything too awful about this upcoming school year. it's strange being a senior... but I like it.

tonight I found myself starting to apply to college.

and I ask myself the timeless question asked by many great people before me:

where has all the time gone?

why does it seem like it was only yesterday 

that I was just getting my license,

 that I was walking into high school for the first time, 

that I was learning how to multiply fractions, 

that I was showing up to a cross country practice for the first time ever, 

that I was telling my mom that she didn't know how to dress 5 year olds like myself.

all these events are many that make up my life and have been tucked away in the safe haven of memories in my head, yet they seem so close. Time has just flown by.

These memories have grown even more precious to me as I look ahead into the realms of the unknown (aka college) and feel excitment tinged with a bit of fear. 

but in the words of Eleanor Roosevelt, "you should do one thing each day that scares you"

so the circle of life continues to spin on

as I apply to college and prepare for nothing short of 

the. rest. of. my. life.

here we go.

wow.

so. school starts tomorrow.
WHAT?
ah.
I still have soooo much to do.
who ever decided that assigning summer math, physics, english, and world history was a good idea?
that's what school is for
jeeeez.

so you had a bad day

yesterday was an awful day. i think the world was secretly plotting against me. I knew I was in a bad mood too, but I couldn't go home and work through it by myself. I was forced to suffer my shortcomings in public due to my dermatologist appointment, orientation at school, math club meeting, and student council workshop. I couldn't catch a break!

then i had to go to cross country practice... which I was dreading. But that turned out to be the best part of my whole day.  

It started out with me running each interval at the EXACT same pace. weird.

then ended with a super awesome cheer full of enthusiasm from the whole team.

the turned around day was confirmed by a carpool jam session with the windows rolled down, the music turned up, and the AC turned off. it was awesome.

life's what you make it. so let's make it rock. 

wishin' summer could last longer...