this is strange

It's been a while.
Life has happened.
Perhaps I'll start blogging again.
someday.

Humanity of Mondays

photo from www.goddaily.tumblr.com

"Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick; I came not to call the righteous, but sinners" (Mk 2:17)

I constantly (at least every Monday) have to remind myself that this world is a journey, not a destination. That we will fall because we are human.  I have to keep Mondays and rainy days in perspective understanding that the struggle is real because of the reality of humanity. We are broken. We are not perfect. YET there's good news (the best news of all of eternity)... Jesus came so that we can finally achieve that perfection through complete and total union with Him ultimately. C.S. Lewis says it best when he states,“If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world.” We desire this perfection, yet we cannot attain it. We are subject, rather destined to fallen brokenness. 

Oftentimes in my life I've come to fear this brokenness, to hate the vulnerability of being wrong or less than my expectations. Yet, it's intrinsic to our present state, completely unavoidable while we are still in our human form. Ironically enough avoiding this vulnerability at all costs could cost me everything simply because it is in our humble brokenness where we meet Jesus. Jesus did not turn first to the pharisees or the people who regarded themselves highly. He made himself present to the humble, the lowly, the people who knew they needed Him. If I live constantly thriving at my fullest potential then what need would I have of a savior? 

The kingdom of God is a place that begins in the hearts of those who let God in, the hearts of the poor and lowly that rely on their creator. We have to let Jesus fill in our "cracks" and meet us where we are in our brokenness while also imitating Him in the way he loves the ones who offer the least yet need it the most. sometimes we may not even realize that that person is indeed ourselves. 

Here's to a rockin Monday and a stellar week! Let's try to reach out to all those that might need Love and open our own hearts to Him (easier said than done.. .but that's the good thing, Jesus completes our brokenness hey hey!)

Jesus, I trust in You: a rambling of thoughts

The Chaplet of Divine Mercy comes in handy for those times when we are lacking in trust.

Our God is a God of many identities. He's the ultimate Father. The greatest Companion and Fulfiller of all of our deepest desires. The Lover of our souls. He is gracious, merciful, and Love itself.  Some have a skewed vision of our Lord, imagining Him as the supreme Punisher creating rigid rules for the sake of making rules. Others picture Him as Santa Claus, expecting Him to deliver everything on our "lists". Then there's the God that is fluffy, warm, and saved for church on Sunday mornings before a big brunch. The list goes on. As a person in the design field I love to imagine God as the Creator. I love picturing God in "studio" designing each and every life and its implications. But most recently, I've become acquainted with the side of God that loves surprises. 

God has been surprising me all of my life, but the most recent started happening last semester. As the story always goes in my life, I was spending an exorbitant amount of time in studio. For a period of about 3 weeks leading up to final review my daily life consisted of spending whatever time I wasn't in class or eating or (barely) sleeping in studio. I got there early in the morning and didn't leave until early into the next morning only to wake up after a few hours and do it all over again. It was during this time when I started to go to daily mass regularly. I started to long for the re-centering, peaceful time I spent in the little stone chapel off campus. Then God surprised me by laying His real presence in the Eucharist on my heart like a load of bricks. He had used my time of solitude and hard work to glorify Him and I am forever grateful. He had transformed my work into a prayer, and that time in my life felt like a renewing retreat from the fast pace of reality. For the first time I knew how it felt to have a personal relationship with Jesus. How could I have missed this for so long!?

God loves to keep us guessing. I arrive at a realization thinking I have it all figured out only to realize that I'm making claims on the whole puzzle while only holding one piece. God continues to surprise me, keeping me on my toes and making certain my heart is focused on Him. This has been the case in my present life as the future stands right in front of me in all of its uncertainty. Now more than ever, God is calling me to trust Him, as He calls every single one of us everyday. It's hard to remember, but God knows us all better than we know ourselves, and He loves us better than we love ourselves. So why do we feel anxiety or fear creeping into the back of our minds when we have a God who wants and wills the best of the best for us?

I just need to tell this to my own heart. Courage, trust, faith, dear heart! Real life is scary. But somehow I think that means I'm doing it right. And above all, it's important to remember that God is faithful, and His love and mercy are infinite even if we cannot see it with our humanly vision. We can trust in Him and all of His surprises.

Jesus,  I trust in you!

verso l'alto

“It is Jesus in fact that you seek when you dream of happiness; He is waiting for you when nothing else you find satisfies you; He is the beauty to which you are so attracted; it is He who provokes you with that thirst for fullness that will not let you settle for compromise; it is He who urges you to shed the masks of a false life; it is He who reads in your hearts your most genuine choices, the choices that others try to stifle. It is Jesus who stirs in you the desire to do something great with your lives, the will to follow an ideal, the refusal to allow yourselves to be grounded down by mediocrity, the courage to commit yourselves humbly and patiently to improving yourselves and society, making the world more human and more fraternal.”

—St. John Paul II

football and human connectivity

yesterday was gameday in most college towns across the country. the establishment of football always amazes me. It's been part of my life since my days of cheering for LSU as a child, and now continues on as I support my Clemson tigers in my last season as a student. Even though it's been a factor in my life for so long now, I can't help but feel silly cheering for football games. Football amazes me because I can't seem to understand how such an event could be such a big deal (I have kin that would disown me if they knew I was writing this post). It's fun, but it's quite crazy when you start to think about it. 

The best part of football season is the human connection it brings. Where else could you find a whole community stopping everything they are doing to sit around, drink a brew, wear the same color, and enjoy each other's company for the whole day. It's a strange yet wonderful setting of community that isn't reproduced in any other situation. Growing up tailgating almost every weekend of every fall it's easy to forget the magic in the scenario. When you step back and question things, that's when you start to get a better understanding.

happy sunday to you and yours!

on thinking about being a real person

 right now I'm stressing as a daunting new week begins. I'm at a time where I have a million and one things to do... (doesn't everybody? will it ever stop?) and I know exactly what I have to do, it's all just about finding the time and motivation to do it. The motivation part isn't as difficult, but I'm finding the time thing to be placing a major stress on my life right now. Before this past week I looked at a whole year left of college as a burden, now i'm seeing it more as wait...I need more time! So as I try to catch time and keep it forever, I can see that my efforts are hopeless. 

How do you realize who you are? How do you know who you want to be, what you want to do? What can you do with your time that's important?

I know that these are not answers that will come immediately at first. I'm sure it'll take exploration and after some time in hot pursuit, i think it'll just hit me. I imagine it to be like any design concept process. When first greeted with a project, I spend a day or two thinking... Writing, taking long walks, doodling, pursuing the idea full forced.  Then after I've fully immersed myself in the process, it just hits me and I think dang it's been sitting there all along just waiting to be realized. I had all the pieces, they just were scattered around begging to be put together. That's me now, fully pursuing my purpose in life. Actively and wholeheartedly pursuing because I fully believe that the answer will come through living.


happy day dearest readers, hope your week is filled with good vibes

getting back

dearest readers,
I am writing this post from studio right now, and I can hear the rain hitting the roof. It's quite delightful and for once I might be enjoying my time in studio. I hope it continues to rain, it's such a soothing sound to hear...

I've found that I feel jaded lately. there's so many things out there, all saying so many different things or often the same thing in so many different ways. So many influences coming at every direction, and I feel like I should retreat into the woods so I can start to think for myself again.

studio is my woods, the quiet rain is encouraging my creativity

poem #44

This morning came too early

still good for me the same

I had to look this in the eye

stop giving out the blame

the clothes went in the washer

the toilet got a scrub

the dishes were so dirty

the house needed some love

forever on the paper

i found my weakness shy

bold in it's excuse to leave

slow to give a reason why

the wind takes it away

it doesn't care if you fall

no matter what you do

ultimately time consumes us all

bringing in senior year with a camping trip

There is a certain sadness that comes with the excitement of each new transition. As I start my senior year of college, I feel undoubtedly confident that I am exactly where I need to be. I'm excited to be where I am in life. I can start looking forward to the next move, but I don't quite have to make it just yet. I still have one year to soak up Clemson. To do the things that I haven't made time for in the past. 

The first week up here two of my dear friends came and stayed with me, and we decided to go camping with another clemmy friend. We camped in Black Balsum in Pisgah, NC (outside of brevard). The colors up there were amazing. We decided very last minute to go for the camping trip, and everything about it was haphazard. However, there was no doubt we were meant to be there right then. Everything kept happening just right. We forgot wood and then a random photographer happened to have a few loads of it in the back of his pickup. Just as we started using the last bits of our surprise wood a few other campers came up and asked if they could pitch in with our fire so they wouldn't have to build their own. Then as the night fell our new friends told us that it was a super moon and a meteor shower. I wish my camera could have captured that moon. It started off blood red and then slowly changed colors until it was bright white and huge in the sea of stars. Besides being super cold up there, it was amazing. Everything felt so alive.

Overheard in Art Class

"Ms. Kat... how are you 21 and not married... do you even have a boyfriend" ok wait come on guys

"I fell off a horse at pony camp once" I can tell

{talking about the male volunteer, Kyle} "Ms. Kat is that your husband?" should I just go ahead and say yes to avoid this conversation again..

"Jesus had long hair?? He looks like a girl" ...at least they are talking about good things like Jesus?

"The Indians believed in an afterlife where all the good people went and partied with Jesus or something" where do these kids go to church on sunday, and can I join?

"Ms. Kat where are your boobs?" whoa whoa... excuse me?

"All my mom does at work is look at pictures on the computer" if only life was as children see it

"Ella gets to go home with you every night, Ms Kat?? Do yall do art class at night too?" mind boggling

"Ms. Kat, can you come home with me?" thanks for the invite, but my mommy wants me home too (really tho..)

"I didn't know about Jessica Simpson until I went to the mall" this was a boy too..

kid 1: "Do you like tacos?" kid 2: "My dad's ex-girlfriend is from Mexico"

"I heard they serve hamburgers everyday in prison" wait... how do you know this

kids really do say the darndest things.. I'm sad that this week is my last week teaching these precious kiddos. It's really been one heck of a summer. Who knew it would be so fun. I am beyond grateful for this time

Monday blues

lookin in the mirror bein' like DANG it's monday morning // maybe that's not exactly what picasso meant..

Running is hard. In running we willingly bring about our own physical suffering. No matter how much we run and get into shape, it will always be difficult. Maybe it's not as difficult as when we first started, but every time we improve, we push ourselves just a little harder, make ourselves go a little faster. Therefore running will always challenge us. Each day is new. Today doesn't care what you did yesterday, or what you'll do tomorrow. It's simple but I forget it all the time: all you have is this day. 

You know what else is hard? Flossing. and making beds. and blogging. and cooking. and going to work each day. and doing all of the other daily tasks that come with living. I don't mind doing any of those pesky tasks once, but why must I continue to do them every day? I flossed yesterday, must I really do it again today? Now dear readers you're probably wondering where I'm going with all this complaining, but it's all connected. I'll let you in on the deep conversation I've been having with myself these days... it all comes down to one thought:

In this world we have to keep swimming because if you're just floating, you're sinking. 

I've found that this applies to almost everything. Once you till a garden, you have to plant the good seeds and then continue to weed so that your plants can grow. Speaking from experience, the weeds like the newly tilled dirt just as much as the plants that were intended for the garden. 

Yet... The laziness of summer permeates through every pore of my being, and it's easy to convince myself that I deserve to not do anything. As humans we long for comfort, and it's easy to confuse comfort with happiness. Happiness seldom comes from comfort, but more often sneaks up on us in our hard work. from doing the things we don't want to do like flossing or making our beds in the morning. from pushing out of our comfort zone (see study abroad post...). Imagine how much joy could be had if only we found joy in those miserable tasks that actually end up being not that big of a deal at all. If we see each moment of hard work, of doing those things we don't want to do, for what they were (as opportunities for genuine happiness) maybe people would be excited for cleaning toilets and jury duty. 

The good news is that the more good things we do, the easier it is to do more good things. The more I run, the more i keep up with my prayer life. The more I keep on top of my lesson plans, the more I keep my room clean. The more I floss, the more I read the bible. It's still not easy, but objects in motion stay in motion, right? And often I've found that the easy answer is almost always the wrong one. 

The opposite is also true: the more bad things we do, the easier it is to do more bad things. Laziness is like a leeway drug. You start with just one area of your life and then you turn around and that small piece of snow has turned into a full blown avalanche. 

in conclusion.. yes, running sucks, but endorphin's are great // finding joy in the everyday is hard, but it can be done // it's monday morning and I could make a terrible joke about needing to steal my sister's adderall (1. she's prescribed 2. I'm only joking, mom)

 Happy Monday, dear readers! 

you are loved my friend

I often find myself struggling to give and receive love. Maybe i'm too hard on myself, but I leave certain or most encounters feeling as though I didn't properly convey just how much they matter, just how important they are to me or otherwise. Maybe some situations don't require such reassurances (and I'm only overthinking... par for the course). Sure it's easy on a blog to write about how much people mean to me and how much they matter, but if we don't share love human to human then what does it really matter anyway? Maya Angelou once said that people may not remember all the things you said or did, but they will always remember how you make them feel. In a community sense, we bring light into our friends and families lives. I might have a dark living room while someone else has a dark kitchen, we all need light differently, yet still we all need it. 

In this day and age when technology is at it's height (I know I know.. I'm not trying to get on another rant.. I promise) it's easy to try to smother people with assuring, loving texts and calls and shout outs on insta. But we can't forget about the people we encounter in our day-to-day lives. The ones that are there, in person, standing in front of our own eyes seeking love. This week let's sacrifice our own good to go out of our way to remind people that they are loved. If we can't find Christ in our neighbors I'm afraid we might have trouble finding Him anywhere else.

Everyone deserves Love.

happiest week ahead to you and yours

thoughts on delayed gratification

There's obviously a whole lot I could write about this subject. Maybe about how our culture insists on immediate gratification, or how we can't live if we don't get what we want RIGHT. NOW. Obviously this is a huge problem for my generation and all the generations to come since everything we could ever want is at our fingertips. It's no wonder we find ourselves hopeless, wondering if this is it, and lost in an discontent world. It's such an oxymoron really, you'd think that by gratifying yourself you'd be happier. In the end, you did get what you wanted didn't you? Maybe you wanted that chocolate bar, the latest and greatest gadget, or maybe you wanted another person. Why do we still feel empty, sad.. .incomplete? Why didn't that thing that we thought would fill us up leave us wanting more? It's all the same, it's fleeting. Life is in the journey, not the destination.

On the flip side of the coin, delaying gratification can be a bad thing. This happens when we put off those big things that stay on our to do list. Currently, mine is an article that I've been dragging my feet to write, lesson plans for next week's classes, and mind-boggling website coding. The things we reeeeeallly just don't want to do. Things that bring us misery until they are done, but provide immediate relief once they are. Eventually we will get them done, but for now they will hang over our heads, tormenting our mental health and blemishing our neat and tidy "to do" list.  If only we just got it done, it couldn't harm us anymore.

So we do the things we want right now and leave the things we should do for later. We delay our gratification for difficult tasks, but fail to do so otherwise. Why do we have it so wrong?

As many people have said before me, tackling the big hard scary things and then delaying our rewards for later bring much more happiness. It completely baffles me how each and every one of us can be so blind. We don't realize the simplest things like the key to our own happiness and success. all the answers are out there clear as day, we just have to seek them, to trust them, to see with child-like eyes. every problem has it's answer, and I've found the more I focus on God the more clearly I can see. In the end, the things we long for and the things we delay gratification for (or don't delay for) are only things. We can't seek salvation in a cookie. The cookie is only there for our immediate enjoyment. When we put disproportionate honor into small things, these small things can take over our lives and control us. Yes, change is hard, but it's not impossible. Sure that cookie is delicious and might fill you up for an hour or two, but the "cookie" you envied the adults for receiving in mass as a child fills you up for all of eternity. 

Summer of Learning

Now that life keeps blazing on at it's usual pace I've found myself settling back into the swing of things. It took a little while for sure. The first week back, I would try to accomplish a task, but instead I would find myself falling asleep. I blame this temporary narcolepsy on my post-study abroad hangover but mostly on my jetlag (because that's a more legitimate excuse for when I hadn't done the dishes like my mother asked.)

This summer I'm teaching art and architecture to kiddos here in Baton Rouge at a place called 7 elements. This is only my first week, but I can already tell that I'm going to love it. This week I've been teaching architecture to teens and kids, and I can honestly say that each day already feels rewarding. These first few days have taught me that it's challenging to teach 7 year olds about architecture, but I'm not going to lie its always entertaining. The first day I asked them to tell me (in their own words of course) what they thought architecture was. One precious little boy raised his hand and yelled "It's like arc's textures like different textures of things like arcs". .... close, right? Then after I explained to them the difference between plans and elevation drawings, I asked them to draw plans of their "dream house". One of my students drew her father sitting in the bathroom on the toilet checking facebook on his ipad. I nearly fell over trying to hold in my laughter when she explained her drawing to me. They truly melt my heart, they are so precious and mostly unaffected by the world. 

 7 yr. old Olivia's Floorplan with her dad on the toilet

The constant jabbering about instagram, Demi Lovato, and the latest gossip reminds me that my other older group is blazing forward through their preteen years. I decided that preteens are a thermometer for the condition of the world. Their innocence is usually in it's first exposure to the inevitable corruption of humanity. Even though most of them are only 8-10 years younger than me, I find their conversations and interests so different from when I was that age. There is such a huge generational gap between even me and my own brother that's only 7 years younger than me, I can't imagine how different the world will be when Ella comes around.. she's 15 years younger than me. I'm grateful for my own parents and teachers (as well as all other people teaching kids out there-- you go glen coco). They are fighting the hardest battle: to keep children's minds pure, open, and not corrupted by the world. So much of what the world offers is empty and sad. The young children see their lives so clearly, so unaffected. Nothing is unnecessarily over-complicated to them. If only we as adults (or as almost-adults..) could tap into that ability, tap into those eyes that see such beauty and pure joy. Maybe if we had those eyes, we could see how the love that the world offers is empty and flawed. Maybe some of these kids will teach me more than I could teach them. At least in the preteen class I will be more educated on social media...did you know that there's such a thing as a group text fight these days?!?!? (how did I become a geezer already... )

After only a few days at this whole teaching thing I can tell it's going to be an adventure, and I'm looking forward to the rest of this summer. Yes, it'll be a challenging and busy one, but that's what an adventure's all about anyway: challenging ourselves. So here we go, let's do this.

*all pictures courtesy of 7 Elements Baton Rouge

Study abroad hangover // benefits of travel

"How was your semester abroad?!" 

I love/dread being asked this question. On one hand I'm more than thrilled to talk about the best semester of my entire life, yet on the other I feel discouraged. How am I supposed to fit a whole semester of experiences into one or two sentences? And even if I had a whole day to explain everything, every person's experience is only valuable as he or she experiences them, so sometimes I'm left feeling misunderstood and frustrated. It's true of most scenarios, plus people are simply trying to make conversation when they ask these questions. I decided if I could sit down and give a satisfactory answer of how my semester abroad was, I would answer by rambling on about how it made me a better person. In reality, it did. It helped me realize the person I was at that point in my life, where I wanted to be, and how I needed to get there. I feel ALIVE. I feel more childlike. More consumed by beautiful things. More affected by wonder. More connected to the universe and its creator. (ok ok I know I'm a double cheeseburger but bear with me for some more words)

I think I have a study abroad hangover. I'm already planning on my next travels, as I see it to be the only cure. I've gotten only a taste of the world, and I'm more than grateful for that taste, but I'm craving to see more of it. Many people say that travel is the only thing you can buy that makes you richer. While my empty pockets might not support this statement, I agree enormously after spending this past semester studying architecture in Italy and traveling to 10 other countries along the way.  That being said, studying abroad gave me much more than I bargained for. It gave me new eyes, a new way of seeing things. I left the states for the first time ever back in January with what I thought was an open mind and a clear grip on the world we live in. I couldn’t have been blinder. In actuality my mind was only cracked open only a sliver and I had no idea just how big and wide and deep the world could be. I thought I was big and important, yet we as individuals are so small in comparison to the world around us.  

For me, traveling abroad was like hitting a “reset” button. Every new place I went pushed me out of my comfort zone. When we live our daily lives it’s easy to fall into the routine of just getting by, but when we are forced out of our comfort zones, life has a way of making us grow more into the role we were created for. You truly begin to see, not just look. Travel, exploration, experiencing is necessary to our own growth. We are forced to us ask new questions and answer old ones. Everyplace around the world contains its own people that practice their own traditions and carry out their own way of life. Each group has their own questions and their own answers. Each place is a small puzzle piece fitting together to literally make up the mass of the world, but to also make up the soul of the world. When we experience these places, we have the opportunity to piece together this puzzle of humanity. Not only do we develop our own selves, we also contribute to the world when we take our new ways of seeing to our own homes and any other place we go.

 studying abroad granted me a newfound sense of adventure and independence. It reinforced the skills I gained when I walked out of my parents’ arms and made my first steps onto Clemson’s campus as a freshman just three short years ago (wait wut). I remember my high school self being just as intimidated by college as I was by any European form of public transportation in January. Living in a new place allowed me to live in the moment more, relying on my own devices and trusting in God. Without independence, one couldn’t survive a few days, much less a whole semester in a foreign country. If you kept up with my other blog you know that I learned this really quickly when a group of us decided to go skiing in the Alps. After skiing across the border from Italy into Switzerland, I somehow got separated from my friends. I frantically searched around and began to panic. Where were my friends? Why did I lose them? How would I get home? After searching with no sight of anyone I knew I had two options: cry or keep skiing. Maybe I did a little of both, but in the end I decided to keep skiing. As I raced down the mountain (by race I mean slowly skied with extra caution) I had this moment of self-empowerment where I threw up my ski poles and let out a loud squeal. No doubt the people around me thought I had lost it, and maybe I had, but it was in that moment that I felt completely independent. If I could do this, what I had thought to be impossible only moments earlier, what else could I accomplish in my life?

Not only did I gain more independence, studying abroad taught me to give up the illusion of control and recognize the important things in life. Missing a train, miscommunicating in a foreign language, or misreading directions are all times that lead to these realizations. In the grand scheme of things, these moments of inconvenience are only that -- inconveniences and not the end of the world. After a while I began to realize that there is little that I could control in my life in a foreign country, and often in life as a whole. We can only control our reaction to circumstances. As a result, missing a train or misunderstanding directions became adventures in disguise rather than huge obstacles to throw off my day. Just the same, living and traveling in another country taught me to realize the important things in life. Some things that seem like a big deal are in actuality very insignificant. 

Besides being students of architecture, studying abroad made us students of life. To say that this past semester was the best of my entire educational career is an understatement. These experiences will stay with me always, and I am immensely grateful for the opportunities. traveling brought new eyes, new perspectives, independence, and a realization of what’s important into my life. Then again, these opportunities are there for the taking every day no matter where we are, we just have to remember to take them. 

Being back has been good. I'm still adjusting to living at home again, but I'm beginning to think this summer is also just an adventure in disguise. We shall see. 

Happy Tuesday, dearest readers!

AND we're back

Greetings friends!

After blogging all semester long for my semester abroad (click there to go to that blog), I came to the realization that I want to try to blog like I used to.. i love to write, and if you're here I hope you like to read. If not, i'll try to post a lot of pictures too.... 

Check out the new and updated "about adventure letters" section and the new header for the blog. fingers crossed that this means good things for this little piece of internet

italia

hi friends!

guess what? I'm in Genoa, Italy studying architecture abroad for the semester. Check out my architecture blog for my latest adventures:

 www.kaparchitecture.wordpress.com {it's the same architecture blog as last spring. in navigation bar on the side}>>

and guess what else...

It's required for my field study class here so I promise I won't go AWOL like i did from Adventure Letters...

xoxo,

kp

last day of work {for a while}

 "Look for yourself and you will find lonliness and despair. Look for Christ and you will find Him and everything else" --C.S. Lewis

new summer new skills

my computer as of late

I have this thing, dear readers, where if I'm not learning something new, I grow far too stagnant in my life and soon become mildly depressed. I like to keep things changing and fresh, exciting. So this summer, as I continued along with the mundane details of everyday life back at home, I've finally found rescue in web-design. web design. my friends, I'm growing into the biggest nerd. Learning the ins and outs of html and css to possibly create something beautiful? (or horrendous..) the possibilities are just endless. I think our brains operate and think in different levels or maybe in different languages. Right now mine is thinking in the language of html tags. I remember after a night of staying up until 10... am... laser cutting all night, I walked home and thought of modeling every building I saw with the laser cutter. The same concept applies when you play music a while then soon everything has a rhythm, a beat, a unique identity... 

but as I spend consecutive hours in the office struggling (and sometimes succeeding) with coding, that got me to thinking. kind of a lot actually. You see when making a website, every single attribute to the website is accounted for in the html or css document. If it's off by even a wrong space, the web page looks distorted and turns out slightly horrendous, nothing as you had anticipated. You see there is a code for every form and function and everything has a specific purpose. If the code is wrong, the webpage is lifeless. Maybe that's how life is, dear readers. We were all programmed to do a certain thing. When we live our life as we are willed, or just do what we were born to do, the result is as beautiful as a well designed operating website. Everything is cohesive, works out just right. When we try to alter our programming, all too soon we realize the results are soooo wrong. It just doesn't look/feel/seem right, because the coding is wrong.

Can you imagine a world where everyone did what they were born to do?

 makes me get big big goosebumps.

I'm aware that my mind works in strange ways, and I might be the biggest nerd ever... and my little brother told me yesterday I was the uncool one in the family. At first I was offended but then again maybe I was born to be that uncool big sis? I think I'll take it.

best wishes to a fabulous rest of your week my friends, it's wednesday... gotta keep on keepin on!

maybe a crucial part of our existence is the crisis of identity

"I need to organize my life", she said multiple times throughout her existence. She had lost all creative drive in her life despite creating ads, flyers, and even a website. She felt as if she could gain it back once she had completed everything on her to do list. Yet, she still looked on wearily at her endless summer list, the fruit of hopeless dreaming and longing for the freedom of summer during the dreaded days of the forgotten semester. Everyday seemed the same. She had forgotten the feeling of potential. Just as newton had said that bodies in motion would stay in motion, and bodies at rest would stay at rest, she found herself somewhere between motion and rest in an unchanging scenario each day. Her focus shifted, and somewhere in there the excitement, the potential died. She was a shell of her previous self, and found no contentment in the things that used to pique her interest. Unpainted canvases remained unpainted and the words in her mind retreated so quietly that she only realized they were gone when she tried to call upon them. She felt betrayed that they had left her, but had she left them first? Her written voice had failed. Only until then did she realize the flame, her vibrant colouring, had somehow vanished. She now operated as a robot and noted that the reason she felt empty was because maybe she wasn't truly living.